Nadav Spiegelman

Tell Me What You Want

Author
Justin J. Lehmiller
My last highlight
2021-11-04
Number of highlights
4

My Highlights

our sexual fantasies appear to be carefully designed to meet our psychological needs—and because those needs change and evolve over our life span, it seems that our sexual fantasies naturally adjust in order to accommodate them.
Broadly speaking, what I found was that people who identified as anything other than heterosexual were more likely to fantasize about sexual freedom in numerous forms. Specifically, nonheterosexuals were more likely to fantasize about BDSM, nonmonogamy, taboo acts, and gender-bending.
My survey results revealed that if a specific sex act took place during one’s very first sexual experience—be it kissing, oral sex, penile-vaginal intercourse, or something else—people fantasized about it more frequently as adults.
I’ve shown that there are three things that almost everyone fantasizes about—group sex, BDSM, and novelty/adventure—and another four that many, if not most Americans get off on, too—taboo and forbidden activities, having a nonmonogamous relationship, passion and romance, and gender-bending and sexual flexibility.